Sunset Over Manhattan

Blog Post

I Will Change If You Change First by Steven Leeds

Many people come to me because they want to change. But often their focus is on changing someone else, believing that in order to experience a state of well-being, they must first get another person to change. This makes for ongoing dissatisfaction, “controlling behavior (feeling out of control),” and blaming others (for what they are doing or not doing).

Here are some things people try to do that keeps them stuck:

Get someone to love me, so I feel lovable. Get someone to acknowledge me, so I can feel validated. Get someone to stop judging me, so I will feel accepted. Get someone to listen to me, so I feel what have to say matters. Get someone to laugh at my jokes, so I can feel validated. Get someone to see me, so I don’t feel invisible. Get someone to hold me, so I feel touched. Get someone to teach me, so I don’t feel so stupid. Get someone to c